A Different Type Of Foursome
by louieslugga
Summary: This involves Kimber, Christian, Kit, but not Quentin...


A Different Type of Foursome...

Disclaimer - I do not own the characters of Nip/Tuck, they are the property of F/X, but then again who really wants to own these head cases?

Summary - What happens when Kimber, Kit, and Christian plan a foursome, but this time Quentin is not involved...

Rating - R/NC-17 (I really don't know nor do I care)

It's another day in that sleazy bed of Christian's. This time he's got two women in one bed instead of one. Kimber, that dumb pathetic ho, found herself a new pussy pal, Kit McGraw who is pretending to be a "cheerleader"... Don't ask me, sometimes I think the writers of that show are retarded. They were expecting Quentin to join in their sexual escapade, little did they know that I hanged Quentin by his balls and carved his face like a pumpkin, so who's the Carver now?

Anyways it was time for me to straighten the situation out. I first went into the bathroom to take a piss then while their getting their thing on, I walked in the room.

"Hey Quentin nice to join us... Hey you're not Quentin!"

"No I'm not but I got something for you."

"Who the hell are you? I've never seen you before." It's good that they don't know who I am, so I don't have to be constantly reminded of what I did to Ashley and Spencer, Melissa and Alex, Claire, and of course god damn Jessie and Katie.

So I grab some pom-poms and did a chant (I'll explain later why I have some pom-poms):

"1-2-3-4, You Won't Live Anymore"

"5-6-7-8, This Is Gonna Be Your Fate"

By this time those three got out of their beds and looked at me with a questioning look. I'll admit it looked rather ridiculous with me doing the rah-rah.

"1-2-3-4, You Girls Are A Bunch Of Whores"

"5-6-7-8, Don't Run Away Cause It's Too Late!"

Little did they know that I had a Magnum in my left hand which was well hidden by the pom-pom. With that hand I shot Christian dead in his head.

The two girls start to scream so I quickly went up to them and hit them both with some quick combos to stun them. Then I told them "So you're into threesomes, well I got the perfect partner for you, my sledgehammer!" So I pull out my sledgehammer and started to beat the shit out of them, swinging both ways... get it, LOL. By then they were bleeding and lying on the floor begging for mercy so then I grabbed for my scalpel, remembering what the show was all about. With my scalpel I started to cut them up, with slash marks all over their bodies, Freddy Kruger would have been proud of me. However something happened, the scalpel broke!

"This piece of shit thing, I should have known better."

With that in mind I pull out a more reliable piece of knife, the Raging Bulldagger. Yes the Raging Bulldagger, a strong and sturdy dagger with a bull's head at the bottom and decorated with sapphires on one side and black triangles on another. Usually I use this for truck-driving, ugly ass, Melissa Ethridge-listening, bearded clam-smacking bull dykes. So then I started to slice them up even more.

After that I grabbed Kimber and brought her in the bathroom. I shoved her face in the toilet that I just pissed in. She was screaming for help but I just shoved her face in the yellow water more.

Then I went back in the room and then tied both of their necks with ropes, pretty much I put a noose around their neck. After that I tied the rope on the balcony rail and then I brought them out to the balcony

"Bon Voyage!!!"

The I push them off the rail and they were hanged instantly, both of them are now dead. Hold on though, there's something missing...oh yes!

So I started to swing the rope that was holding the dead lifeless body of those two sluts.

"Now that's what I call swinging! LOL"

While the rope was still swinging I went to get some gasoline and poured some gas on the rope which trickled to the body. Then I got my lighter and lit a flame on the rope, the flame travelled to the body. It looked cooll watching a swinging flame!

Now that I'm done who should I deal with next... Christina Agulierra? Nelly Furtado? Furgie? Ani DiFranco? Angela Bowie? Drew Barrymore? Sarah Paulson? Nikki Wade? Helen Stewart? Ah yes Claire from Philadelphia! When I'm done with here she will be Six Feet Under!

But then I just remembed, I had a flight ticket to England.

"Oh Yeah, now I remember! I got to go to England to pay a visit to some Bad Girls..."


End file.
